The Moist Cuntsman wants you to cum in the woods and hash! Deer hunting season will be over and the woods will be free again for the frolicking. You won’t get shot, there will be maximum shiggy, and a potentially muddy trail. Flannel, boots, and undergarments are recommended.
When: Saturday, February 16, 2019 at 12:00 noon
Where: The Seeded Roost, 31 County Road 270, Oxford, Mississippi
The Gathering: 12:00 noon
Circle Up: 12:30 pm
Hares: The Moist Cuntsman and Just Nathan
Hash Cash: $10
Bring: Hash Cash, virgins, ID, Flashlight, Dry Clothes
Shiggy level: 5 out of 5 – Highest Level of Shiggy!
Please RSVP here: https://www.facebook.com/events/2221906521462904/
The Lumberjack Song
I’m a lumberjack and I’m OK
I sleep all night and I work all day
He’s a lumberjack and he’s OK
He sleeps all night and he works all day
I cut down trees, I eat my lunch
I go to the lavatory
On Wednesdays I go shopping and have buttered scones for tea
He cuts down trees, he eat his lunch
He goes to the lavatory
On Wednesdays he goes shopping and has buttered scones for tea
I’m a lumberjack and I’m OK
I sleep all night and I work all day
I cut down trees, I skip and jump
I like to press wild flowers
I put on women’s clothing and hang around in bars
He cuts down trees, he skips and jumps
He likes to press wild flowers
He puts on women’s clothing and hangs around in bars
I’m a lumberjack and I’m OK
I sleep all night and I work all day
I cut down trees, I wear high heels
Suspendies and a bra
I wish I’d been a girlie, just like my dear Papa
He cuts down trees, he wears high heels?
Suspendies and a bra?
He’s a lumberjack and he’s OK
He sleeps all night and he works all day
He’s a lumberjack and he’s OK
Sleeps all night and he works all day
Rehash by Parallel Porking:
“Saturday is a hashing day! And what a hashing day it was!! To continue the trend of getting out of my shell and hashing with new kennels I made command decision to go where parallel has never gone, (at least stop in) Mississippi!
The day started like any other, I slept through my alarm because I stayed up to late playing video game. So instead of getting up by 07 and on the road by 0730, I was up at 0830 and on the road by 0835. With a solid four hour drive ahead of me I prepo’d a few Mt. Dews as Copilot and turned up the BPM. (Thanks Sirius for the free radio!) luckily for me, the speed limit is more like speed suggestion here in the south so I was able to make up time on the road.
When I arrived at the posted location I was met with a choice of three houses that could all have been the start location. So I did what any millennial would do, I checked Facebook to see if anybody updated the post . At that same time our trails only virgin was pulling in behind me and helped make the choice to go left at the spork in the road. So we parked, exchanged pleasantries and then we stood. We stood around for what felt like 30 minutes because the hares / hosts were still on trail leaving one of the shot checks.
One by one hashers started to arrive and once the host returned the keg was tapped. When the GM/ hash cash arrived the log was opened and the sticky shot stick was loaded with delicious something that tasted like apple cider. Someone must have also left honors to the rain turtle because the rain had stopped and the weather was favorable for the start of trail. After a high energy installment of Saturday is a hashing day and introductions the pack was on out!
Trail was as promised 5/5 shiggy and even included giant mounds of various fecal matters of which may or may not have been left by hashers. Not wanting to miss the opportunity I used my 18+ years of experience to teach the Hash how to properly wipe with only one square of TP. They were amazed, they were enlightened and nobody wanted to shake my hand after
The first shot check wasn’t just left on trail. It was about 15” in the air on a fallen log. One of the fearless FBI’s scurried the fuck up there and retrieved it for the pack. Que the sticky shot stick and mudslide shots all around. On out to the beer check where we were introduced to our virgin with another high energy song of alouette and she was a super good sport about it. I might even saw she was enjoying herself. But at that point I was kind drunk so who knows. On out to the third check (second beer, third total). At this point the Hash was sufficiently lubbed and started doing daring “ckrick” or “creek” (depending on where you grew up) jumps. Some chose to just march threw the water. Some jumped it and some failed to do both and just got wet LOL.
When we returned to circle we took accountability and were welcumed with a nice warm bonfire! Songs were sang, traditions were observed and fun was had by all. And since this post has gone on more then I can bear I’ll let the pictures tell the rest of the story. thank you for an awesome hash OUCH3, I look forward to cumming out to you guys again!”
-Parallel Porking, Clarksville Govenators Hash House Harriers (CGH3)
Photographs are here: https://www.facebook.com/ParallelPorking/posts/597661204038509